Comment & Analysis (Intergalactic) | Barnaby Whitlow, Chief Political Correspondent

The Clacton by-election was engulfed in its first scandal this week after Count Binface's campaign confirmed the candidate has "no immediate plans" to relocate to the constituency from his galaxy of origin.

The admission has drawn criticism from voters who believe a prospective MP should live among the people he seeks to represent, a principle that has, by coincidence, also come up in connection with the seat's other candidate.

The campaign moved quickly to contain the damage. "The Count has been entirely transparent about his living arrangements," a spokesbin said. "His address is published in light years. We would gently ask which other candidate in this race has a commute that is a matter of public record."

The row deepened on the Today programme, where the candidate was asked to explain his appeal to Clacton voters. "I'm not Nigel Farage," he replied. Our fact-checking desk has examined the claim and found it to be accurate.

A litter bin wearing a silver rosette stands on a wet promenade in front of a shuttered seaside amusement arcade
The seafront at Clacton, where residents gave this newspaper their views. Derek, 58, declined to be photographed. Photograph: Trending Sheet

Residents divided

Voters who spoke to this newspaper were split. "If he wants to represent Clacton, he should be in Clacton," said Brenda Fowler, 61, of Rush Green, who stressed she remains supportive of the Count's pledge to nationalise Adele. "That part he's got right. She's a national asset being run for private profit. It's not 2010 any more."

Others were more forgiving. "Look, I've lived here forty years. Would I move here now? That's between me and my mortgage," said Derek, 58, outside a shuttered amusement arcade. "At least the bin's honest about not living here. Some of them pretend."

The other address

The comparison was a recurring theme on the seafront. The constituency's other candidate, whose main residence is not in Clacton either, has faced his own questions about accommodation, including reported use of a five-storey Georgian townhouse near Buckingham Palace paid for by a man convicted in the United States over a money-laundering conspiracy. Those reports concern the other candidate, are a matter of public record, and are being looked at by the appropriate parliamentary authorities. The townhouse, we can confirm, is at least on Earth.

A flash-lit paparazzi photograph of a steel bin wearing a silver rosette at the foot of the steps of a grand Georgian townhouse at night
The candidate was photographed this week outside a five-storey Georgian townhouse he does not live in, in what aides described as a solidarity visit. Photograph: Trending Sheet (Intergalactic Picture Desk)

The Adele question

Our economics desk has meanwhile completed its costing of the candidate's pledge to nationalise Adele, a genuine manifesto commitment he repeated on national radio this week. The projected cost to the Exchequer is zero pounds. "She is already a national asset," the desk concluded. "This is a formality. The only outstanding question is the regulator." Sources close to the campaign indicated she would answer to a new body, Ofdele, with powers to intervene if any album is withheld beyond a reasonable interval.

A campaign source insisted the row would not knock the Count off message: "He is focused on what matters. Ninety-nine pence Flakes. One affordable home. Working trains. He did not come 400 million light years to discuss property."

A telescope on a tripod silhouetted against a deep star field over a dark sea horizon at night
The candidate's constituency office, as seen from Earth. Light from the office is not expected to arrive until 2426. Photograph: Trending Sheet (Astronomy Desk)

Polling day is 6 August. The candidate was unavailable for comment, citing distance.

Disclosure: Trending Sheet's Intergalactic Picture Desk attempted to photograph the candidate's constituency office directly. Light from it is not expected to arrive until 2426. We will update this piece when it does.

Barnaby Whitlow does not exist. Pieces on this desk are satire: every statement about a real person or a real investigation is drawn from the public record and listed in the sources below, and everything else is a joke.